I have days where I am overwhelmed with the things that God is saying to me. As I have said previously, this is a time in my life that I am walking by faith, completely putting all of my trust in Jesus, looking for His direction. I know that is how we are supposed to live our lives, but this is the most intense season so far in my life. I sold everything to go where Jesus told me to go and then He brought me back home. Why? I have no idea, but I do know that I am continuing to trust in Him.
Moving to Denmark was the best thing that could happen to me, it allowed me to get out of the everyday rhythm of life. To see life and God from a different angle, putting things into a different perspective. Causing me to think outside of the box and realize that there is more to life and to God than what I know. He began to challenge me, am I really willing to give everything up for Him? Will I trust Him even when life doesn't go according to "the plan"? Am I willing to take risks for Jesus? To look like a fool for Jesus? What did Jesus do when He was on the earth, was His life consumed with church stuff as we know it today? Is there more to 'church life' than what I have experienced in my short life? What is it that is missing? Those questions have caused me to search for an answer. I don't have the answer, but I have found some interesting things in my search. I have visited some churches that do things differently and I have begun to read books secular and christian to see what it is about my current "church" life that isn't quite fulfilling the purposes that God has for me, and maybe others.
Most recently, I just finished reading The Irresistible Revolution: living as an ordinary radical by Shane Claiborne.
While the book puts the desire on the inside of me to be a hippie for Jesus, I don't think that is exactly what I am supposed to do. However, it did cause me to evaluate my life, my beliefs, my passions, and what I am going to do in this transitional point. Do I stay here and get back into the normal daily grind, or do I stay here and start to make some simple changes that will alter the path of my life, and hopefully a few others?
This book has made me wonder... How many layers of insulation have I put between the poor and myself? How many short term missions trips have I taken or "distant acts of charity" have I participated in to make myself feel like I have done my "duty" of helping the less fortunate? What are my actual thoughts on war? Am I content to admire and worship Jesus, but not do what He did? How radical am I willing to live?
Instead of getting answers, I seem to be getting more questions. I think this means I'm going in the right direction.
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getting more questions? sounds like you're going to bible college too :D ha ha
ReplyDeleteand why not fuel our cars with used veggie oil and make our own clothes?
Come on ellen!!
lets be hippies for jesus!!
I'll go with you!
I can hardly remember any plans of God that really looked like what I had pictured in my mind. When Chris and I followed God to Pittsburg, Kansas sixteen years ago we definitely had something different in mind. The first month things went so far south that I knew I must have been "outside of my mind" to move here. Just staying with it one day at a time has proven that we were doing right in moving here. God has proven that over and over...didn't need passports or visas, though at first I thought we might (just kidding). Things were pretty rough, especially the first year. Many tough things since. One thing has stayed steady though and that is God Himself. We need to draw close to figure things out and I think that's what He likes best. He is so good and so faithful! Love you Ellen Beth. My prayer is for clear direction and a closer walk with Him.
ReplyDeleteThe question is Why Wham?
ReplyDeleteI love being able to be around you when you get more questions as you search to find answers to your questions. I am happy God put you in my path and I am able to grow in my walk with God with you. You are a great reminder that everyday I need to search and find what God has for that day. You also remind me to not be content with what I think God can do but always be looking what what God is doing and what He is wanting to do. Maybe I live in a box and don't even know it! I hate boxes!
EB, I am glad you are keeping this blog. As you ask these questions I find myself challenged to find the answers. I wonder sometimes if it is not really the answers I pursue but really just Him.
ReplyDeleteLove ya,
Rachel